University’s life

 

So what is university life?

 

Before i enter the place, i always imagined that it would be very exciting as i can go for a roadtrip with my friends, hangout and eat in a nice place, wear stylish clothes to class and so much more.

 

but

 

after two years,

 

 

Everything that i had imagined is not as fun in my head.

in fact, it’s no where near fun because the misery that i went through overwhelms it.

 

when you’re in University- doing degree- like i did.

You will feel very stress

as there are plenty of things that you need to stress about.

credit hour

mean lecturers

money

time

groupwork

friends

and so much more

 

I always thought that people are being dramatic when they said that University is tough, messed up and scary place.

 

Now, that i’m here. I understand it.

 

Silly

 

 

Can you see me

can you hear me

hey you! look at me.

i’m dancing, speaking silly

 

so funny

this world is

i look all gloomy

but hey look at me

I’m happy

 

well well you’ll see

In my eyes they’re empty

I don’t look as happy

Oh how funny

 

Funny Funny you and me

laughing giggling not thinking

There’s someone waiting

look there’s my buddy

ready to kill this body

well you’ll see

 

Hell-ish

Breath in and breath out

Smile while you can

The flowery path is coming to an end

 

The agony punctured through lungs

and the thoughts is shattering the skull

 

Drowning and flapping-

waiting yet nothing

 

Stabbing is not killing

words spread like wildfire

leaves you dying

 

You running-

very tiring but no stopping.

Forced Reality

“All that matter is the result”

 

 

If you worked very little yet you have great results

Then, that’s all that matter.

you’re good to go.

 

It doesn’t matter whether you lose sleep

or bleed

or dying

No. It doesn’t matter how hard you worked for it

Because the only thing that matter is the result.

 

That.

is the reality i was

forced to learn.

 

If you worked as hard as someone who succeed

yet you’re not as successful as that person,

How would you feel?

 

While excuses is useless,

the results is priceless.

 

 

 

Shrink

I don’t think i know who i am becoming.

Heck, i don’t even know who i was in the past.

and i don’t know who i am in the present.

somedays i feel so invincible  that nothing can hurt me

but when the night comes, everything just hits me

and suddenly i found that it’s hard for me to breath.

These days, when i look at people…

There’s a fear that’s strike my inside

Even when people are waving happily at me,

even when people care for me

even when people are waiting for me

even when people smile at me

the fear is there,

inside.

I had this wild imagination where the moment we stop facing each other,

these people would turn around and roll their eyes as they feel disgusted and annoyed of me.

as these imagination plays in my head like a scene that i’d seen in a movie,

i asked myself, “Am i scared of being hated?”

“yes.” said a voice inside.

“Have I always been this weak?”

“You are never strong to begin with.”