[Mai Fiction #1] Ikigai

Three

Two

One

BOOM!” said a voice amidst the commotion that had erupted.

 

The earth shakes a little as an explosion blow up at the west entrance of KL subway. People were running for their lives and police and firefighter started to flood into the scene. Reporters and journalist are scattered all over the place trying to get a live coverage of the happening.

 

Prime Minister’s office, 14th June 15:34

 

“It is the 4th bombing that occurred within three months, the bombing is likely done by a highly intelligent criminal who goes by codename ikigai. However, we are still at loss of who is the real being behind ikigai. Other than that, the bombing done had brings terrors to public as their life were at risk. The police are doing their best to capture these criminals. The public were very concerned with their safety and demands the political figures to stay true to their manifesto to keep the safety of the public in check,” said the reporter in the television. Datuk Razak pressed the off button and tossed the TV remote aside in anger. He becomes restless, at this rate, there is no way for him to win the next election. Something need to be done. The ikigai must be stopped.

 

­KL Subway 14th June 14:15

 

A figure walks into the scene. He went straight to the wretched scene and an officer walk towards him. He gave the officer a look and nod his head. The officer understood the nod and said, “There is no casualties for this bombing, just like the previous bombing, they shut down the system and set the fire alarm on and people were safely evacuated a few minutes before the bomb set off, a few people were reported to have second degree and mild injuries,”

“What about the bomb source?” said Inspector Hassan who the most senior the first division investigation department and was respected by many for his valuable experience.

“According to initial inspection, we found remains of strontium carbonate chemical which commonly used in firework. We believed the suspects modified the chemical to sparks the small-amount-but-very-reactive hydrogen bomb that is placed at the pillars of the subway. It seems that we are dealing with a very intelligent suspect who we believe is the same person who did the last three bombing because the damage inside the subway were very proportional and can only be done by impeccable calculations,” said Inspector Danial.

Hassan threaded around the demolished subway as he cursed under his breath and muttered “why?” He could not comprehend the motives behind all these bombing and his could feel his time is almost up.

 

An apartment flat somewhere in KL, 17th June 01:56

 

Adriana tiptoed toward Airil who was busily typing on his computers. Out of blue, she shouted next to Airil’s ear and shocked the wits out of her younger brother. She laughed uncontrollably until tears formed at the tip of her eyes.

After what is felt like forever to Airil, Adriana finally stop laughing and as she wiped the tears at the tip of her eyes she look at Airil and said “Don’t stress yourself too much. We’re in this together,” she gave an assuring smile before she throw a carton of chocolate milk into Airil’s lap.

Born savant, Airil had an obsession on mathematics and programming. However, despite his advanced intelligence, he have a hard time socializing with normal people as he have social anxiety.

“AD how did you…,” said Airil in low voice.

“Oh, that milk? I stopped by the store just now. It’s not like you can get out of this house and buy it yourself,” said Adriana as she chuckled a little.

Suddenly, she stopped laughing and look down

“You know what, after all we had done, the police is not even close in apprehending us. Maybe we should bring forward our final show,” said Adriana as she gave a serious look at Airil.

Airil grab the milk carton a bit tighter as he can feel the intense circulating in the air. He knew his sister wasn’t joking when she said that she wants to end things for real. After all, this is what they had planned throughout their lives.

“AD, don’t you think that maybe, we should stop while we’re still at it. If we bring out our trump card now, there’s no turning back,” said Airil anxiously.

“Why? Are you getting a cold feet?” asked Adriana in a cynical tone.

“No… it just that, i don’t think we should,” said Airil before being cut by Adriana

“DON’T FORGET WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO US, AIRIL!” snapped Adriana.

“ If we don’t do this, then do you have the heart to take the truth to grave- The truth behind our parent’s death and walid. Do you want them to die in vain? This thing that we do, is the least thing we can do for them,” said Adriana as tears trickled down her cheek.

Airil never like it when Adriana cries. He never understand a human emotion but everytime Adriana cries he felt like he is being punched in the stomach and the air wiped out from his lung. It just felt weird to see his sister cried. Afterall, she is the only family he have in this world. He walked to his sister and looked into her eye before he said in a determine voice.

“Let’s do it,”

 

 

Sheraton’s Café, 18th June 20:26

 

Lydia sauntered into the café in a dress that showcase her magnificent body shape. Sheraton café is not a usual café. It is one of the most renowned café in Malaysia. Only well-known celebrities, millionaires and political figure are allowed in this place. Her client today is nowhere near average. She is surprised and honored to receive a call from him. The urgency in his voice gives her a tell-tale that this job is going to be exciting. As soon as she steps in the cafe, the waiter immediately escorted her to the private rooms located at the end of the cafe, away from other customers.

Her client is wearing a net black suite, matching his well-polished Oxford shoes with his fine grey hair tousled to the back, revealing the few lines cease on his forehead. She knew him, everybody in Malaysia would immediately recognize this man. “Datuk Razak,” she greets the Prime Minister with a professional smile laced on her face.

Lydia feels giddy as their eyes meet. A sense of proud fills in her chest the moment she receives a call from the Prime Minister. He got a job for her obviously and in her line of work, no job given to her is legal but at least, the fact that he contacted her for help means he acknowledges her capabilities.

Datuk Razak clears his throat. The serious look on his face is obvious, making Lydia more than curious of his little request. “I’ll be frank, Lydia. I know what you did and I heard you did an excellent job,”

She nod slightly with a little smile stuck on her face and nonchalantly said “Oh, I’m flattered. Thank you, Datuk.”

“I hope you can get rid off someone for me.”

Lydia rises her brow. This is not an unusual request yet she wonders who is the person that Datuk Razak despise so much that he would like her take them out personally rather than trusting the police for the job.

“Ikigai,” Datuk Razak finally says.

This is it. This is the excitement she’s been waiting for. A smile form at the tip of her lip.

“That is not an easy target but yeah, like you said, I’m capable for it. But since this is a special occasion, I hope you know my rate.” said Lydia.

Datuk snapped his finger. His PA and three other people bring out a bag each fills with money. A lot of it.

“This is 15 million for you to make you do your job diligently, you will get another 15 million if you done with the job,” said Datuk Razak

Lydia flashed a smile at Datuk Razak as she can’t wait to start her job.

 

Police’s Headquarter, 1st July 03:35

 

Inspector Hassan frowns as he watches the video that ikigai just uploaded 3 minutes ago on their newly created YouTube Channel. It is impossible to trace the video since the uploader use the Tor browser. In the video, two figure was sitting next to each other, one of them was wearing the bear costume and another was wearing the frog costume to cover their head. The two of them use a voice modifier which causes their voice to sound a bit funny. He replay the video again and again.

They bear look at the camera and turned toward the frog and asked, “Are we on air now?” The frog nod.

The bear waved enthusiastically at the camera and in a sarcastic tone said “Sorry to interrupt your beautiful day but we, the ikigai had an important announcement to make. We felt very dejected that the police couldn’t keep up on us,” said the Bear while the frog put his fist together under his eyes and pretend to wipe the nonexistence tears.

“We have planted a bomb in a place everyone can see but never reach. The bomb is set to blow up at 9pm tomorrow. So, look forward for the firework show by us tomorrow,” said the Bear in a very cheerful manner.

The frog continued.“To the public who watch this announcement, we are very sorry about the chaos we had done but the two of us did intent to reform this messed up country that is rule by murderer. How, you asked? Well, you will know that as soon as our last project succeed. That’s all from us. BYE,”

Inspector Hassan look closely at their behaviour in the video. The cynical that they portrayed seems very odd. Why did they choose to upload a video to announce the next bombing? Why didn’t they sent a letter like they always do? What do they mean by ‘a place that people always see but never reach? Are those two are the real people behind ikigai or are they just a coy?

He look at the video closely and notice something off about their way of sitting. The way the bear sits looks very feminine while the way the frog slouched seems that person been in a sitting position for too long.

Suddenly, he suddenly recalls a footage that he have on the last bombing at KL Subway where a man sits on a bench opposite to the west entrance who walked away in a suspiciously calm manner a few second after the bomb went off. He compared the siting stance and his detective instinct are telling him these two might be the same person. If the frog is the real ikigai, that only mean that the bear too- is the real ikigai.

 

An apartment somewhere in KL, 1st July 01:52

 

Lydia sneaked into the apartment as quietly as she could yet, her steps come into a halt when she felt a cold metal pressed at the back of her head. She knew this feeling all too well. It’s a gun and the person who is holding it is more than ready to pull the trigger. Her surviving instinct makes her raised her hands to her side.

“Turn around,” said the voice behind her. Lydia slowly turns and see a woman smirking at her.

“Welcome. We’ve been expecting you,” said the woman.

Lydia keep her composure and face the woman.

“We know the scum pay you to get us but we have a better offer for you,”

Lydia give her professional smile and listen intently to it.

 

Police Headquarter, 1st July 09:00

 

The problem in this riddle is not that he don’t know the answer but the riddle itself have so may answer to it that he can’t be sure which one is the answer that Inspector Hassan can’t be sure which one is the answer that the ikigai is referring to.

He looked through all the bombing that is done before. The first one occur in a shopping mall. The first bomb exploded at the dead of night and no one was inside the building when the bombing occured.

The second bomb blow up at a research facility runs by a pharmacy company. It blew up in the most deserted part of the research facility. It costs the company million dollar to recover from the strong blow.

The third bombing occured at government’s office building. An hour before the bomb blew up the fire alarm went on and everyone is evacuated safely. A few minute after everyone is out of the building. The bomb went off and the building were blown to smithereens.

The fourth bombing which occured at KL Subway is the most provocative as it was done in one of the most crowded place in KL. However, even then, no one is killed and the bombing were done at an unused platforms for maintenance work.

The question is, why the bomber even bother to calculate everything and make the demolition of the building proportional? Now that he thinks about it, he realizes that there were no fatalities reported in all four bombing.

Suddenly, the answer hits Hassan like a bullet straight into his brain. The bomber never intend to kill anyone.

 

Prime minister’s office, 1st July 11:11

 

            Datuk Razak paused the video in front of him. What the hell just happened? Did those two just pinpoint him as a murderer? This can’t be right. The only murder he had done was during the disbandment of the black organization.

Suddenly he remember two prominent member of the black organization that he had to kill. Zakaria and… Siti. He was pretty sure that those two had children together. If he had not mistaken, they had two children. One girl and one boy.

He look at the video again and suddenly he had the feeling that those sibling might be behind ikigai.

Suddenly, he heard someone entered his room. He’s been waiting for her. He felt giddy as he can’t wait to see the result of her work. The moment he turned to face the woman that just entered his room, his heart dropped.

Adriana stood there smirking at Datuk Razak while pointing a gun toward him.

Datuk razak try his best to maintain his composure. Afterall, as a prime minister, having surprise visits is almost like an everyday meeting for him. He put on a smile before uttering “Adriana Shazna Binti,” he made a long pause before continue.

“Zakaria,” he finally said.

“Wow. I’m surprised and feel honoured that you know me by my name. Have you been waiting for me?,” asked Adriana in a sarcastic tone.

Datuk Razak’s smile grew bigger as the mystery of who is the real person behind ikigai is no longer a secret.

“You know, your father and I used to be a really close friend and i have never imagine that one day his daughter will point a gun at me,” said Datuk Razak sarcastically.

“Oh really. I also have never imagine my father’s best friend would be the one to kill him,” said Adriana cynically.

“Wow. So, in the end, all the bombings that you and your brother did are simply because you want to seek revenge? And guess what your father bragged before he die? Having a savant children. What. A. Joke,” said Datuk Razak before he burst laughing.

Adriana felt a surge of anger consume her. She pull the trigger and used the clanking sound to intimidate him. Even then, Datuk Razak keep on laughing.

“So this is how it gonna end? You killing me? Why bother with all the bombing if in the end you just gonna shot me? Do you find excitement in making people scared and hurt? Your conscience is even lower than your father and mother,” said him, still in a sarcastic voice.

“How dare you talking about conscience! My father helped you to develop this country and you killed him.You. Are nothing but a mere murderer,” said Adriana in anger.

“Your father? Help me?” asked him with the expression of mocking her.

“Sure he did. He was the one who cover up for the money laundering that we did. He was more than willing to help me back then but after your brother was born suddenly he wants to quit. Of course, i had no choice but to silence him for good,”

“What about my mother then?! What did she do that you had to kill her? She was a respected doctor who saved countless lives. How could you killed her?!”

Datuk Razak’s laugh become louder as Adriana finished her sentence. He gave her a look and said “Your mother was indeed a very bright doctor but unlike any doctors, her expertise is a waste for the use in hospital. When i first discussed about the inhumane project, your mother looks more than happy to join. That’s right. Your mother are nothing like a doctor, when she’s down there doing the experiment, She is a monster,” said him before bursting into an evil laugh.

Adriana couldn’t believe her ears. That can’t be right. She always knew about the money laundering and the inhumane experiment but never once she had imagined her parent was a part of it.

Adriana snapped “NO! You are making this shit up. There’s no way my parents would be your compliance in your filthy work. Don’t drag my parents in this,”

Datuk Razak smiled crookedly and he slowly pressed the alarm button that is placed next to his desk. Adriana was taken by surprise when a troop of his security personnel came into the room and gang up against her.

Adriana try to apply all the martial art that she had learned but it was no use when she was up against 5 male who are twice bigger than her.

Datuk Razak simply smirked as he saw her struggle. Before he left the room, he slightly turn his head and gave orders to his personnel “Tie her up,”

 

Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre, 1st July 12:13

 

Airil sneaks into the supercomputer room and connect the cable to his portable converter that is connected to a laptop.  He hacked into every TV station broadcasting system and set a timer to play the video that he and his sister had recorded.

He then hacked into KLCC’s security system and set a timer to turn on at 8PM.

While he was working on all the hacking. Suddenly, he see Adriana’s signal moving to some other place that is not in their initial plan. He feels worried. He tried to contact Adriana but no answer.

 

Police headquarter, 1st July 12:32

Inspector Hassan see an anonymous envelope on his desk. He opened the envelope and see a wrinkled paper and a pendrive. The wrinkled paper contain the names of political candidate and even the name of the current prime minister. He took out the pendrive and connect it to his computer absentmindedly.

He saw multiple files, he clicked on the first one and saw many account ledger. Being a senior detective, he can tell that all this ledger are a prove to a breach of trust. He rounded his eyes in disbelief as he realised that the total amount of the money laundering is twenty billion ringgit.

He continues to check the second folder in the pendrive which consists a number of video files. He clicked on one of it and in the video, he saw five familiar figure walks in a place that looks like a bunker.

Suddenly, it hits him. All the location where the bombing occured- the buildings belong to these five people. He then realised that he is after the wrong criminal. He watch the video until the end before he takes it out and charge to the place where the real criminal is.

 

Kuala Lumpur Convention Center, 1st July  12:53

Airil cursed under his breath when he saw a message from private number that comes with an image attachment.

Come to the prime minister’s suite if you want her back, alive.”

Airil scroll down the message and he dropped his phone in horror. The image attachments that was included in the message was the image of Adriana beaten and tied up.

 

In a car, 1st July 13:07

Inspector Hassan was on his way to arrest the criminal he had in mind when he received a message from an unknown number.

 

“The criminal you’re looking for is here

-Ikigai”

 

Suddenly the phone beeped and the same number sent him a location. Although he had his doubts. He goes for it anyway.

 

Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre, 1st July 13:15

 

Airil anxiously walked towards the prime minister’s suite. He saw a few bodyguards and accidentally make an eye contact with one of them. He ran away when those scary people chased after him. He saw a crowd of people in his pathway. Having a social anxiety, his knees suddenly becomes weak and he started to gag as he see the crowd. The guy in black suit hit the back of his head and the world suddenly turned pitch black for Airil.

 

Prime minister’s suite, 1st July 13:35

 

Airil slowly gain his consciousness. He turned to his side and saw Adriana. She was badly injured as blood trickled down from various part of her body.

Airil try to run to Adriana only to realize that his body was tied up. Airil shouted to call out to his sister but it was no use as her sister still were unconscious.

Out of blue, Datuk Razak entered the room and he clapped his hand while smiling proudly.

“Aww, what an amusing sight. A sibling reunion. Although i hate to do this, but since the both of you know about the black organization that i created back in the days, i can’t afford the liability of  keeping you alive. So,”

Suddenly, Datuk Razak take out his gun and aim to shoot Adriana. Airil screamed his heart out as if he could stop the villain with his shout.

In that moment, Inspector Hassan ambush the office. He briefly looked at the siblings and he pointed his gun toward Datuk Razak.

“You are under arrest for  money laundering and,” he stopped a moment before finished of his sentence

“Murder,”said Inspector Hassan as he glared at Datuk Razak.

Datuk Razak scoffed in disbelief “Do you even know who you are arresting? I’m the Prime Minister of Malaysia. I have legal immunity. You can’t put me in trial. You have no power against me,”

Out of nowhere, a shotgun was heard and it hits Airil, right at his heart. Inspector Hassan see at the corner of his eyes that there is a sniper opposite to this building. He saw a string of red rays pointed at Adriana’s head. He ran to save her. However, he was late by split seconds as she was shot too.

 

Somewhere in Malaysia, 3rd July 20:00

 

“Upon the revelation done by ikigai last Thursday. The public were triggered and many had assembled in front of the prime minister’s office, demanding him to step down from his position. It is revealed that he and four other prominent  political figures are involved in the black organization of this country where they sponsored inhumane experiments and doing breach of trust approximately cost twenty billions ringgit. Four of them were arrested which leaved the prime minister himself as he had the legal immunity against law and cannot be trial. However, now that his doings are exposed, Malaysia’s citizen start to revolt against the government,” said the reporter in the television.

 

KLIA, 1st December 07:35

 

Lydia walk toward the departure gate, she decided to fly to Canada this time. She gazed outside the window. Malaysia is indeed a crazy place. Despite the truth that the sibling had bring forward, they still couldn’t put the criminal behind the bars. Luckily though, that a few months after the death of ikigai, the prime minister killed himself as he can’t withstand the hatred that people had upon him.

Lydia reminiscence the night where she talked to Adriana

“We know the scum pay you to get us but we have a better offer for you,” said Adriana as he lowered her gun from Lydia’s face.

            “We never meant to hurt anyone. We just want to reform this country and bring the truth to light. This,” she said while showing a piece of paper

 “-is list names of the people who were responsible for the black organization in our country and that,”she said while pointing to a piece of pendrive on the table.

 “-contain the prove of their doing. I want you to slip this thing into the police headquarter. I know you’re supposed to kill us but trust me we are gonna die anyway and about the money, we have prepared our lifetime saving plus the inheritance from our parent which approximately amount a hundred million ringgit,”

            Lydia raised her brow. “Why are you doing this?”

Adriana took a deep breath before continue speaking “because this is our ikigai- the reasons to why we lived. We want to seek revenge for our parent  and our adopted father. Those people killed them without any mercy. Me and my brother too, were almost killed multiple time by those scums but we managed to stay alive because we have our ikigai and I- I know as elite professional killer it will hurt your pride to let the target escaped within your reach and because of that i gave you the permission to kill me and my brother when the time is right,”

Lydia smirked and stands up “You are so silly, if you knew that i’m coming then why didn’t you just killed me?”

Adriana let out a small sigh and said “Can’t you see, we never meant to hurt anybody. We just want our the death of our beloved one were justified and that’s it,”

            “What if i decline?” asked lydia as if to provoke Adriana

            “Then you’ll leave me no choice but to detonate the bomb that i planted in this room. Both you and I will die at this moment. The bombing that is set tomorrow will still happened and nothing can be changed,”

            Lydia put on her professional smile and says “deal,”

 

A house in Subang, 1st December 09:43

 

He gaze longingly at the picture frame on his table. He was smiling happily next to his best friend and the best colleague he ever had. He flashback to the days where his friend were still alive

Kamil, are you sure you want to adopt those kids?” Asked Hassan with a concerned tone.

“Of course. Those kid are so pitiful. Their parent were missing in action and they can’t be placed in an orphanage because of that. If i don’t take them in, who will?”

Hassan looked at the siblings. Their back faced him as the children were engulfed in a Japanese TV show. Hassan approached them and asked “what are you watching?”

The girl cheekily replied him “a Japanese show about a man who is justifying for his parent’s death,”

“Oh, really? What’s the title of the show?” asked Hassan towards the boy who constantly hides behind the girl.

The boy looked down and said in a low voice

“Ikigai,”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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University’s life

 

So what is university life?

 

Before i enter the place, i always imagined that it would be very exciting as i can go for a roadtrip with my friends, hangout and eat in a nice place, wear stylish clothes to class and so much more.

 

but

 

after two years,

 

 

Everything that i had imagined is not as fun in my head.

in fact, it’s no where near fun because the misery that i went through overwhelms it.

 

when you’re in University- doing degree- like i did.

You will feel very stress

as there are plenty of things that you need to stress about.

credit hour

mean lecturers

money

time

groupwork

friends

and so much more

 

I always thought that people are being dramatic when they said that University is tough, messed up and scary place.

 

Now, that i’m here. I understand it.

 

Silly

 

 

Can you see me

can you hear me

hey you! look at me.

i’m dancing, speaking silly

 

so funny

this world is

i look all gloomy

but hey look at me

I’m happy

 

well well you’ll see

In my eyes they’re empty

I don’t look as happy

Oh how funny

 

Funny Funny you and me

laughing giggling not thinking

There’s someone waiting

look there’s my buddy

ready to kill this body

well you’ll see

 

Hell-ish

Breath in and breath out

Smile while you can

The flowery path is coming to an end

 

The agony punctured through lungs

and the thoughts is shattering the skull

 

Drowning and flapping-

waiting yet nothing

 

Stabbing is not killing

words spread like wildfire

leaves you dying

 

You running-

very tiring but no stopping.

Forced Reality

“All that matter is the result”

 

 

If you worked very little yet you have great results

Then, that’s all that matter.

you’re good to go.

 

It doesn’t matter whether you lose sleep

or bleed

or dying

No. It doesn’t matter how hard you worked for it

Because the only thing that matter is the result.

 

That.

is the reality i was

forced to learn.

 

If you worked as hard as someone who succeed

yet you’re not as successful as that person,

How would you feel?

 

While excuses is useless,

the results is priceless.

 

 

 

Shrink

I don’t think i know who i am becoming.

Heck, i don’t even know who i was in the past.

and i don’t know who i am in the present.

 

somedays i feel so invincible  that nothing can hurt me and whatsoever

but when the night comes, everything just hits me

and suddenly i found that it’s hard for me to breath.

 

These days, when i look at people…

There’s a fear that’s strike my inside

Even when people are waving happily at me,

even when people care for me

even when people are waiting for me

even when people smile at me

the fear is there,

inside.

 

I had this wild imagination where the moment we stop facing each other,

these people would turn around and roll their eyes as they feel disgusted and annoyed of me.

as these imagination plays in my head like a scene that i’d seen in a movie,

i asked myself, “Am i being scared of being hated?”

“yes.” said a voice inside.

“Have I always been this weak?”

“You are never strong to begin with.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Prologue:

She was The Girl, who made the person she loves cried but she was also The Girl who wipe the tears of a stranger.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Coin-tossed

What is it that you want to prove with your suicide?

 

 

I would like to think that suicide is not the way out

Nor the way in

In fact, suicide is never a way

or a path

or anything at all

 

How dare you take away your life in seconds when,

it took nine month to get you out into this world

and yes, those nine months might means nothing

when you have suffered for 20  or 30 or 40 years

but here’s the thing.

You have survived for twenty years or more

Why can’t you hold on for another seconds?

Why?

 

Is it because the voice in your head is getting louder?

Or is it because the emptiness that engulfed is too resilient for you?

Or is it because you’re too tired and nothing can make you feel better anymore?

Or is it because you simply hate everything in this world and nothing seems interesting anymore?

So, which one is it?

 

The thought to end things,

We all have it in us.

Just because that thought stuck to your head a bit much longer than others makes you think that you have every rights to end things for real?

Lol. What. A. Joke.

 

You’re right.

Maybe you should go ahead and die.

This world is too hard for you

In the end, you are alone and no one can save you

Not me, not your family nor your friend

No one.

 

Let me tell you something,

When you’re so fixed on suicide

No one can save you from your own thought

No one. Not even yourself

 

Pain is just pain,

And every pain demands to be felt.

“So, do you think taking your soul away from your body will ease the pain?”

I’m not going to answer this

You figured it out yourself.

 

So, kill yourself.

And see if it will ease the pain or not

If it does feel much better, congrats.

And yeah “you’ve done well,”

But if only get worst,

what can I say?

lol, jk what I mean is,

what can you say?

You already dead.

 

For me,

Life is always a coin tossed

Either yes or no

Either heaven or hell

Either you’re right or you’re wrong

Either you know or you don’t

 

So feel free to toss your coin.

I’m not here to stop you

Nor to encourage you.

I’m just here for the sake of being here.

 

 

 

I Wonder

I always wonder,

Why must “Fall” in love

Why not jump in love or swim in love or sit in love or stand in love

There are lots of other better verb to be put before the sentence ‘in love’

Yet, people keep using the negatively associated verb such as fall

Why?

 

Within the question, I found my answer.

Girl’s Power

You dare to call us weak

Well, you might end up getting beaten up

 

You dare to call us ugly

Well, you better look out because we can be pretty

 

You dare to call us fat

Well, you better look at your abs-less body

 

You dare to fall for us

Well… nothing is going to be well from there


 

Purlieus

When I was a whole lot younger,

I used to feel scared of lightning

But as I grew up, I feel soothed by it

Because I realised that even the sky can get mad at times.

 

I loved to watch these children’s television shows

But as I grew up, I hate them.

Those colourful bright colour pains my eyes and

I can tell that the hosts’ smiles were so made up.

 

I used to feel scared of heavy metal music,

But as I grew up, I feel more and more drawn to these kinds of music.

As it can express the feelings that I can never tell.

 

I spoke a lot to my parent even though I can barely pronounce a thing,

But as I grew up, I hardly talk to them

Even though I can speak hundreds of languages by now.

 

Indeed, they are right when they said

‘Life is an upside down’ cycle

Just when we don’t wish or have the abilities do things

that we want it the most

But when we can actually do it,

we just…

don’t